
In order for you to understand how far I've come, I have to first set the stage a little bit. I was very shy when I was younger, and for the most part have gotten over it. But that doesn't change the fact that I have always kind of hated certain social events. Ones where I specifically know that I will probably be uncomfortable. Obviously, if you know that beforehand, your instinct would be to avoid that situation at all costs, right? The best example that I can think of to illustrate how far I would go to avoid these situations would be in 7th grade.
Picture, if you will, first dance of the year, during school hours. Most kids would be stoked to get out of class for an hour and just hang out in the gym. Um...not me! I was dreading this event. All I could picture was standing around, feeling awkward, having no one ask me to dance, etc. Whether this would have been the case or not is completely beside the point. There were two choices: go to the dance, or go to study hall. I chose study hall. And let's see...I think there were maybe three other kids in there as well. Pretty dorky, right? My list of insecure stories could go on and on.I won't bore you with the gory details. Thankfully, I can look back now and laugh at the patheticness of it all. The point is, last week I realized that I had reached a critical milestone.
I was at a concert with my friend Heidi, when she got sick and had to leave. Again, I was faced with some choices: leave with Heidi, or stay? The concert was amazing and I was totally having a great time. So I stayed. There I was, standing in the middle of a sea of random people, totally alone and totally loving it. Thoughts of 7th grade study hall flashed in my brain and I had to just smile and congratulate myself. Could it be, 15+ years later, that I am finally secure with myself? That statement may be jumping the gun just a bit, but I have come a long way. And for that, I am grateful.